Once Upon A Time
by smileyanne
Summary: He left thinking they would have the rest of their lives to build up to something long lasting. TAG to 5x09 Lost and Found. An exploration of why Gibbs left.


_a/n: All I can say is that Gibbs is a freaking idiot._

_DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NCIS._

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><p>It's been awhile since he's tucked a kid in.<p>

It's been a long, long time. And Gibbs doesn't even want to think about the last time.

Silently, he closes the door to the spare bedroom Jenny said to put Carson in. The last peek he gets of the kid is him sleeping soundly, and he see's Jenny's eyes lingering on the kid before he cuts off her view.

Without a word he starts off down her wood paneled hallway. He's always liked her house, it's old and antiqued. So far out of the current trend that the only reason why it's still fashionable is because it's considered traditional.

Jenny's following him, tugging lightly on that cardigan she's wearing. Gibbs almost forgot about that one habit; if Jenny's wearing a coat or a sweater, and she's nervous, it's a guaranteed that she'll be fiddling with it somehow.

He almost forgot how endearing he found it.

Together they start to descend her grand staircase. Neither of them are speaking, but it's not awkward silence. It almost feels like times that are long gone in how comfortable he feels with her right now. He missed this, he missed being someone who didn't feel the need to always talk.

They're nearing the bottom of her staircase, and she's pulling her little sweater tighter around herself. Vaguely he wondered if she could actually be cold. While it may be chilly outside, Jenny's house has got a comfortable, tantalizing, _warmth _permeating it.

He's almost sad when he goes to put his coat on, and he's forced to acknowledge something...Some _dangerous _little part of himself doesn't want to leave Jenny's house, doesn't want to back outside into a world where nothing is right between them.

"It's been a while," he hears her husky voice say, he turns back to her; curious. "Us. Together, outside of the office."

She's still on the bottom step, and he's reminded just how tiny Jenny really is. It's hidden well by skyscraper high stilettos, but now the only thing on her feet are a pair of house slippers-

To him, she looks comfortable...

"If you don't count hospitals and car chases-."

Comfortable...and...happy even? Content, maybe?

"I don't," she answers simply, and there's a familiar glint in her green eyes that he knows, if he can just concentrate hard enough, that he can place it...

"Once upon a time, I would've asked you to stay. And I wouldn't have taken no for an answer..."

Yeah, it's all coming back to him now. He knows, from experience, just how that would've gone.

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><p><em>Her hair had come undone from the tight ponytail she'd had it in all day. Now, her ringlets swinging loosely around her, Gibbs has trouble taking his eyes off of the wonderful sight she makes.<em>

_But the threat of pounding his thumb with a hammer...again, makes him concentrate on his work. One more swift hit to the nail head, and he was done. Stepping back, he admired his work proudly._

_Earlier this week Jenny had mentioned needing to fix things up around the house, and in a moment of generosity Gibbs had offered his help. Therefore sacrificing a Saturday that otherwise would've been spent working on the boat (and harassing Jen over the phone). In favor of fixing a loose floorboard, fixing the post on Jenny's bed, changing a light-bulb that Jen was to short to reach, and putting up new shelves in her study._

_Truthfully, he didn't mind that much. Not when it allowed him to mess with Jenny in person._

_"You're done?" __Speak of the devil..._

_Turning his head, he watched as she gracefully walked to his side. Putting her hands on her hip, she cocked her head to the side, and dramatically pretended to inspect his work. _

_As if she knew what exactly to inspect._

_He'd been a little surprised earlier when Jen, who had graciously offered to help, nearly killed both him and her with the hammer he'd handed her. After laughing his ass off at her, he had spent the rest of the day making sure the only thing Jenny touched was a screwdriver. _

_What he couldn't decided was if she was actually bad with tools, or just so good that she'd been trying to kill him with one?_

_Well, when he'd moved on to his last project, the shelves. Jen had settled back on the couch in her study, and contented herself with making suggestive comments that kept him distracted for a good five minutes._

_Hence, the reason why his thumb had been wailed on so many times._

_"Looks good," the she-devil said, turning to him with a serious look on her face. _

_"Hhmm, they'll last you a good while," Gibbs said, leaning forward and pressing down on one. Satisfied he unhooked the tool belt he had around his waist, and started to meander his way towards the study door._

_"Hey, where are you going?" _

_Looking over his shoulder, he saw her standing there, a mischievous glint in her eyes, Gibbs didn't answer for a moment, to enamored with simply staring at her, and in that time she sashayed over to him._

_"Jen," he said, a reluctant smile on his face as she turned him forcefully around. Her small hands clutched fistfuls of his T-shirt, her body pressing against him closely. _

_"Jethro," she mimicked, then smiled too, "I still haven't paid you."_

_Naturally his hands fell to her hips, pulling her in closer and forgetting all about the tool belt at their feet. "I did it for free..."_

_"Well," she drawled, sidling up more to him. She tilted her head and one of Gibbs hands came up to brush away some of her red locks, leaning forward he pressed a kiss to her creamy neck. _

_"I was thinking," she said, her voice hoarse, "I've got some groceries in the kitchen, and can make something for dinner-"_

_"You can cook?" He interrupted, she could feel his smirk against her._

_"Yes! I can cook!"_

_"Okay then," he conceded, one kisses turning into to far too many, "But I can't stay."_

_"Jethro, I think you misunderstood," she says casually, giving him a better angle as he marks her skin. "I'm not taking 'No' for an answer."_

_"Are you now?" He mumbled, Jenny started moving backwards, dragging Jethro with her. Farther into the study and away from the door._

_"Uh-huh," her calves hit the edge of the sofa. Gibbs pulled back when he felt them stop moving, and Jenny was humbled to see a spark in his eyes. And an amused grin on his face._

_"I really can't stay. We're working tomorrow."_

_Neither of them were giving up on this. Taking the advantage of surprise; Jenny gently knocked his bad knee and before he could catch his balance, she used her leverage and turned them. One moment Gibbs was falling, and the next his back was landing softly on the couch cushions. _

_Though, he quickly welcomed her warm body on top of his. Hair hair falling around them both, and curtaining them off from the rest of the world; Jenny tilted her head down and pressed her mouth to his._

_"Really, can't stay..." he got out against her soft lips. And really, she might've thought about accepting that answer. Except for the fact that his hands current had a death-grip on her hips._

_"Clearly," she kissed him once, twice, "You don't understand what 'Not taking no for an answer,' means."_

_Her hands fumbled with his belt, and Gibbs decided right then and there that maybe this wasn't a fight he wanted to win. His head was fuzzy, and the only thing he could think right now was 'Jenny', 'Jenny', 'Jenny'._

_"Jesus woman, you'll be the death of me." He choked, flipping them over and pressing close to her._

_"Oh, but what a way to go."_

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><p>He liked that Jenny; long hair, happy eyes, making teasing (bordering on lewd) comments. The one with long hair that she loved to curl. The one that liked to make him dance whenever they had the chance. The one that secretly liked his annoying phone calls on the Saturday's they had off.<p>

But the thing is...he liked_this_ Jenny too.

He liked the Jenny that had offered her home up to a kid that needed a warm bed. He liked the Jenny that was confident in the decisions she made from behind her all empowering desk. He liked the Jenny that whispered sarcastic comments in his ear during the sexual harassment seminar. He liked the Jenny that had greeted him with a soft smile, and mischievous eyes.

Gibbs _really _liked this Jenny.

And maybe that was the problem...

Of course it wasn't a matter of physical attraction. He was attracted to the Jenny from nine years ago, and the one standing in front of him right now. Jennifer Shepard was beautiful, always had been to him and always would be. Gibbs had long ago accepted the fact that he would always be attracted to Jenny as his cross to bare.

So no, it wasn't that he was not attracted to her.

Maybe it was because he knew there was something she was still hiding from him. It irked at him, made him nervous and antsy. Because when Jenny hid stuff from him, it was never anything _simple_.

Jen had the horrible habit of hiding big, apocalyptic, things from him.

He was fairly sure it had nothing to do anymore with long-held vendettas. _That _storm had long passed, and somehow they'd both made it out of the other side. And since then, things had been..._okay_ between them. Not perfect, but..._okay_.

Okay was good. Okay was where _good _came from.

Okay was light flirting and friendly words again.

Okay was the first building block to something lasting.

And if he acted on his urges, letting Jenny convince him not to leave out the door. He knew that _okay _would come crashing down around them, because nothing he and Jenny did was every anything but _huge_. So if they jumped into this head first, before they got to good and long lasting, they would _never _get there.

Gibbs didn't want to turn her down, but he did. He turned and walked out the door while her eyes still held no resentment, and there was no anger in his voice. He put his coat on and left her standing in her doorway while he walked back out into the cold.

He would always want Jen, and the only thing that allowed him to leave was the hope that soon they would be building on something bigger. After all, they had the rest of their lives to build up from _okay_.

Little did he know, that he would hate himself for that decision for the rest of _his _life.

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><p><em>an: eek I don't know! Just trying to make since of lost and found._


End file.
